- During a conversation (well, rant) A dear friend (we’ll call her “Ms. Sunshine”) said you have to TEACH [her] how to be a friend.
What a crock! As if my being a friend wasn’t example enough…I want what I give.
I’m sure we’ve all had our share of ups and downs with friends, but… this, by far, iced the cake. I’ll even go as far as to say that it has broken me. Not to be overly dramatic or anything, but it was like breaking up with your boyfriend on a Monday and seeing him in love by Thursday — as if you were never a part of his life.
When someone would do something totally sneaky to a friend and then offer an apology, my grandmother would say “If you was sorry, you wouldn’t have done it“. It’s confusing to hear at first, but now I get it.
Basically, as a friend, you KNOW your boundaries — ESPECIALLY if you’ve been given a second chance. There are limits that ought not be pushed. There are lines that cannot (under any circumstances) be crossed.
Accountability. Ownership: When you KNOW you’re in the wrong, own up to your faults. Its just that simple. However, you can’t expect to be forgiven immediately. It takes time to heal a wound, especially one that’s been pierced time and time again.
Be sincere: How dare your apology be as insincere and condescending as the Devil’s handshake! That’s just not fair and as a friend, you SHOULD know better. Yeah, I know, we all make mistakes — but there’s a HUGE difference between “mistake” and “getting caught in a lie”.
I can’t think of the last time I “accidentally” told a lie OR forgot to let the person know that I double-crossed them. But hey, what do I know?
Exchange shoes: Put the shoe on the other foot and take a walk around. Fits mighty snug, doesn’t it? Do unto others…
My FINAL answer: I didn’t fully understand the reasoning behind Ms. Sunshine’s logic at the time, but…she’s right. However, I decided to end the 8-year friendship anyway. I’m not sure if it’s once and for all, but for now its over. It’s for the best and it is what works best for me.
Honestly, I went so long without this person in my life, that I’m use to them NOT being around. (Pretty sucky, huh? Hmm. Hmm.)
I’ll admit; I’m stubborn. (I’m a Virgo, what do you expect!? LOL) I need ALL or NOTHING, when it comes to who I can depend on and who I can’t. Sorry.
Lesson learned: The way to have a friend is to be a friend. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Summary: You can be a fair weather sports fan, but not in friendship. Cherish your friends, while they’re still willing to claim you.
That is all. -Miranda Priestly, The Devil Wears Prada