by Evan McArthur Kane
When “p” is “The Prize”, nobody wins. And in a more perfect world, I could probably rest my case on that statement. But I won’t, because I know better. I know you’ve been taught and told otherwise. I know the lies that have filled your head since you were old enough to pay attention. But now you’re wise enough to think outside of the box that’s been built around your mind to blind, deafen and stunt your ability to reason. It’s always a pleasure to meet women that have found a life for themselves outside of the box. One of them, Kenya K. Stevens, a kindred spirit and Superhero colleague, recently wrestled the subject of “The Prize”on her blog. She does a far more thorough job than I ever could at dismantling many of the great feminine myths. So rather than simply co-sign, I thought I’d grab a bullhorn, hop on a soapbox and co-evangelize. There is no sunshine in your vagina, believe me, I’ve checked (high humidity, with a chance of showers–but not a single ray of sunshine). And we should all be thankful for that. Because if there were any real power in it, then the world would be almost certainly be ruled by strippers and street strollers.
But women don’t rule the world. And they won’t–and that’s quite alright. James Brown was right (maybe too right for his own good). Because the universal balance is that women will always, ALWAYS run the world. But exactly how women run the world seems to be up for some dispute. You remember the phenomenon that was/is Alexyss Tylor and her proclamations of “pussy power” (costumes and all)? Well she–and the many millions of disciples who think those thoughts quietly–conveniently forgot about one thing: everything else. To reduce the power and influence of a woman to her vagina is grand larceny, not empowerment. It also artificially inflates the feminine ego by convincing her that a man will pledge his allegiance to the flag he plants between her thighs, instead of what she herself has planted behind her eyes. Men will NEVER “need” women for sex, because there will always be women who are willing to give it freely. What we require from women is balance (vagina included).
The great and powerful Oz that is Steve Harvey is coming out with another cash register masterpiece–I mean–piece of literature [clears throat] to tell women the same ol’ fortune cookie fodder you can find on the filthy floors of any neighborhood carry-out. And because of the society we live in, he’ll make a fortune–for himself and his third wife–again. Good for them. But is it “good” for you? The subtitle is ‘How to Find, Keep and Understand a Man’ and I won’t even begin to breakdown the ssa-backwardness of this, other than to say that the only men qualified to give such advice are gay men (which goes to show just how much thought went into that unfortunate title). But some of you will buy it, try it and swear by it. And if you’re “lucky” you might just “find” a “good” man because that’s exactly what buzzword books are for–right? But hopefully more of you will sagely pay no attention to man behind the curtain. And that by itself makes you sexier beings. So if there is no Oz, how does Dorothy get home with her pup–and her “p”–in tact? No matter where you are in life at the moment you can click those heels thrice, suspending dependence on what you’ve learned and lived thus far, and see the light of yellow bricks under your feet. The answer isn’t in you–it IS you. And there is no place like home. So if you’re willing to start from scratch and scrap the influences that have too-long polluted the mind, you can build a better home, in a better world–sans the boxes, lies and spells of wicked witches. Without guilt, shame or apology, you can live freely. But it’ll cost you. The currency is contentment and they don’t take American Excess.
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