“No Strings Attached”

“No Strings Attached”

 Dear April,

I have always wanted to go on a cruise.  A male acquaintance of mine is going on a cruise in three months and invited me to come along.  He was sharing a cabin with someone who has backed out.  He has told me that I can share the cabin with him, free of charge.  Am I naïve in thinking that I can take this trip with this man with no strings attached?

Anonymous (Laurel, MD)

 

 

 

Dear Anonymous,

Wow!!   I can see how a free cruise could be very tempting, especially considering you’ve never had the experience.  Taking a dream vacay on somebody else’s dime??  SWEEEEET DEAL… theoretically.  But, before you make a decision, there are some things to consider. 

Why you? If this gentleman is an acquaintance, the two of you know each other superficially.  Why would someone that is not a good friend, family member, or significant other offer you a free cruise that happens to require you to share a cabin?  Maybe “Mr. Vacation” is just paying-it-forward, but this scenario is curious at best and shady at worst.

Lost in translation?  Men and women have a language that is unspoken but often heard through body language, gestures, actions, and insinuation.  Is it possible that by inviting you on this free cruise, “Mr. Vacation” is telling you something that you aren’t hearing, misinterpreting or choosing to ignore?  Some men believe every woman has a price.  Is it possible ”Mr. Vacation” is telling you he thinks your price is this cruise?

What is it worth?  Anonymous, you said you always wanted to go on a cruise, but at what expense?  Will you enjoy yourself if you feel obligated to be in the company of “Mr. Vacation” the entire time?  What if you meet a handsome man and want to “get your groove back,” Stella?  What if you want to take the time to be introspective and get centered? 

They say the best things in life are free, but all of my womanly instincts tell me this vacation isn’t one of them.  You want to go on a cruise and you deserve that experience free of awkwardness or any strings that will be attached.  Save your coins, Mama, and treat yourself to a cruise with the company of your choice.  A vacation on your own terms will be so much sweeter!

xoxo,

 April

 

If you have a question for about life, love, career or anything under the sun send an email to awatts@whwweb.com.  Please sign the email exactly how you would like to be recognized (including the city and/or state). 

 

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this column are for entertainment purposes only. If you are experiencing serious mental, emotional, financial, professional or legal difficulties please seek the counsel of a credentialed expert.  Neither April Watts nor Maximum Watts, Inc. will be held liable for any undesired or adverse results of your following the advice expressed in the “Ask April” column. 

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6 Responses

  1. Ola 21. Sep, 2009 at 6:07 pm #

    Women are not stupid, 9 times out of 10 they know if a guy likes them… mostly because we guys tend to stare… I always found it funny that women expect men to control themselves… lol no strings attached why ask a question you should alraedy know…

  2. Paige 22. Sep, 2009 at 8:36 am #

    I can appreciate her challenge. However I wonder why we don’t just ask the questions we want answers too? How about, “Please take no offense to this, but I am flattered tremendously by the offer, but I have found that sex and intimacy is usually expected with offers like this and before I ruin your cruise or have you regret your offer, I thought we might discuss how you see this trip going.” Its not rude and most decent men would understand the question and discussion. On the flip…if you are down for a free-spirited, fun free cruise where you don’t mind being “his lady” for the trip…go! He offered…have fun! Sometimes I think we think way too much!! Speak your mind!!

  3. DB 22. Sep, 2009 at 9:52 am #

    She already know what’s good. Ain’t no man gonna pay for a cruise for no friendly conversation.

  4. darren Moberly 08. Oct, 2009 at 3:13 pm #

    I don’t usually comment on blog posts… but this was a good post.. keep up the good work :)

  5. Hmmmm........... 19. Oct, 2009 at 1:30 pm #

    Hmmmmm…..maybe we’re not getting the whole story!!! As stated above, maybe he’s more than an acquaintance! If I was presented with this offer, with someone that I’m an “acquaintance” with, my first question would be, “What are you expecting?” DB, I have to say that I would not expect friendly conversation, on the trip, if Anonymous is not conversing even before making a decision to go on the trip! Something sounds a lil fishy to me but I’m sure if we had both sides of the story, this situation would be clear ;-)

  6. lashawnjohnson 30. Jun, 2010 at 10:16 pm #

    More than likely, she already knows what it do, let’s face it cruises are not cheap! On the other hand, if she is really unsure, not quite clear on the invitation, then she should go ahead and ask, better to know than to assume.

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